


The Life & Times of Nick Carraway

by Legendawson



Category: Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald
Genre: Chester is a player, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, gay!nick, lesbian!jordan, pan!gatsby, trans!gatsby
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-01-29 17:06:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 18,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12635397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Legendawson/pseuds/Legendawson
Summary: Nick Carraway navigating life as a closeted gay man while trying to hide his adoration of Gatsby.





	1. Chapter 1

“I forgot to ask you something, and it’s important. We heard you were engaged to a girl out West.”  
“That’s right, we heard you were engaged.”  
“It’s a libel. I’m too poor.”  
Well... that wasn’t necessarily true. Technically, I was engaged. But really, I didn’t plan it, nor did I want it.

My father knew me better than any other person on earth. I used to consider this a good thing. I no longer do.  
The story of how I got engaged is neither happy nor romantic. I also consider it the thing that tore my father & I apart forever. My father had always had the suspicion that I was interested in men. I knew he didn’t accept it, with he way he tried to set me up with women. But never before had he forced me into anything, and for that one thing, I respected him greatly. Until now.  
For weeks my father had been pressuring me to propose to my current girlfriend, who I had only began dating to make him proud, and to ultimately use her hide the truth.  
Knowing me so well, my father knew I would never agree to marry a woman and lead her on forever, hell dating her was almost too much to bare. This was why he knew he had to trick me into it.  
I had planned a date to break up with my girlfriend. Since I was so attached to my father, he knew about said date almost immediately after I planned it. Since he knew when and where it was, my father knew how to trick my into proposing perfectly.

Since I was going to break up with my girlfriend, I tried to be extra nice, she was a very nice woman, who I really didn’t want to see cry.  
We were waiting for our food when I anxiously put my hands in my pocket so I wouldn’t bite my nails. I felt something big in my pocket, out of curiosity, I pulled it out of my pocket, and then it fell to the ground. I got out of my chair to pick the object up. Out of confusion of how the said object got in my pocket, I opened it. My girlfriend looked down to see me on my knees with an engagement ring in my hands. She squealed happily and slipped the ring on her finger, all while screaming “Yes, yes, yes!”  
Before I could explain, she pulled me into a deep kiss while everyone in the restaurant clapped. I didn’t have the heart to embarrass the poor girl in front of everyone. But I was furious, I knew right away that my father did this.  
After dropping my now fiancé back at her house, I drove to my parents house in fury.

In my severe anger, I slammed the door open to the house.  
My father was sitting, reading the newspaper, looking unsurprised to see me.  
“Hello Nicholas, how was your evening?” he asked, not looking up from the paper.  
I tore the paper from his hands and threw it to the side.  
“What the hell were you thinking?!” I screamed. It was the most aggressive tone I’ve ever used towards my father.  
“I was doing you a favor, son” he said.  
“How exactly? You know how I am. This the worst favor you could’ve done me!” I yelled.  
“I do know how you are. That’s exactly why I did it” he said in a calmly matter.  
I took a deep breath, sat down, and tried to copy his calm exterior.  
“Father, I’ve come to terms with never being able to court a man. I understand I’ll have to pretend to be interested in women forever, in theory I’m trying to be okay with that. But I won’t marry a women. I won’t. I just need you to understand that alright?” I explained.  
“I’ve given you a very long time to change, Nicholas. But you haven’t, it’s time to be married off, son” he said.  
It was the most upset I had ever been. My chest hurt from not being accepted by the person I trusted most. My head hurt from trying to take in all the events that transpired. My throat hurt from trying to keep my tears in. Of course, even after how he just treated me, my father still had power over me, crying was considered feminine. Fuck my father. I started crying anyway.  
“Now Nicholas, you know how I feel about crying” he scolded.  
I stood up abruptly and charged out of my childhood home.  
When I arrived at my house, in a fret, I started packing up every belonging I owned that I could logically pack overnight. That meant I would have to leave a few things behind. That didn’t matter, I didn’t have much anyway.  
After packing everything up, I decided I would move to New York, my cousin, Daisy, lived there. Knowing I’d have at least one friend there comforted me.


	2. Chapter 2

Here I stood at Daisy’s house, remembering everything about my engagement.  
After shutting down their ideas about my supposed fiancé, I left, back to my small house, next to my very well known neighbor with the fantastic parties. I was almost glad I hadn’t met him yet, the way people discussed him, lead me to believe I would be enchanted with him like everyone else. The last thing I needed was to be interested in my neighbor.

Back at Daisy’s, I had met a friend of hers. Jordan Baker. She was very interesting. Her figure, very unfeminine, made me sure that if I’d met her back home, she would’ve been another one of my girlfriends I’d be incapable of loving. But my life in West Egg, New York, was a fresh start. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t use another women to hide my truth. But I could use a friend. She seemed nice enough.  
I did eventually start spending time with Jordan. She was very reckless and fun. I enjoyed her company so much I would even go as far as to say that she became my best friend, but of course, that’s as far as my feelings went for her, and I could tell that the feeling was mutual.

I, of course, broke my promise to myself about never using another women again. I ended up kissing her in a taxi. It was the grossest kiss in history of kisses, she must’ve felt it too, considering how fast she broke the kiss. We never kissed again, thank god, but continued to spend time together and stayed friends.  
It didn’t take long to figure it out. That Jordan was like me. I had already suspected Jordan’s interest in women, she stared at women the way I stared at men, especially the way she looked at Daisy. But It was just a suspicion until I caught her kissing one of the girls in the yellow dresses at Gatsby’s party. It made me unbelievably happy to meet someone similar to me. Maybe there wasn’t anything wrong with me. Or maybe there was, but at least now I wasn’t alone in the feeling.

“Suppose you met somebody just as careless as yourself.”  
“I hope I never will, I hate careless people. That’s why I like you.”  
Jordan was driving very recklessly while we had a very touching moment.  
Having caught her with the girl in the yellow dress, I felt rather giddy about meeting someone like me, and I felt confident enough to come out for the first time.  
“Imahomosexual” I blurted out so fast you could hardly hear what I said.  
“What’s that, Nick, darling?” she asked.  
“I’m queer” I said. It felt so good, amazing really, to say that out loud.  
Jordan smiled “I know. So am I.”  
I flashed a smile back “I know.”  
“I didn’t think you’d ever tell me” she admitted.  
“Yeah I wouldn’t have, but I saw you with one of the girls in the yellow dresses and knew you wouldn’t judge me” I explained.  
“Her name is Lucille” she smirked.  
“Yeah, I bet after the night you had with her you won’t be forgetting her name anytime soon” I joked.  
“Nick!” she exclaimed.  
We both bursted into giggles.  
“Gatsby is breathtaking” I admitted.  
“Yes, sweetie, I know” she said.  
I sighed “I don’t want to spend anymore time with him. I can already see the future, I fall in love with him and sulk over our unrequited love.”  
“Been there done that” she mumbled.  
I laughed. We were like opposite sides of the same coin.  
“With Daisy?” I asked.  
She frowned “How did you know?”  
I shrugged “I’m a writer, I notice everything.”  
She smiled sadly at me. I returned the same sad smile back.

After that, if possible, Jordan & I became even closer than we’d been before.  
The closer Gatsby & I got, the closer to Jordan I got.  
I had it bad for Gatsby, and Jordan was the only one I could talk to about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry the chapters are so short :/


	3. Chapter 3

My sexual frustration with Gatsby had me calling up Chester McKee.  
“McKee residence, Chester speaking.”  
“Uh hello, it’s Nick Carraway” I said awkwardly.  
“Who?” I could hear Chester rolling his eyes on the other side of the phone.  
“Um Nick? We were..... together..... a few weeks ago?” I reminded him. I couldn’t believe he didn’t remember.  
“I get together with a lot of men. You’re going to have to clarify” Chester said.  
“I’m um.... friends with Tom?” I said because really, I had no defining quality. I scrunched up my nose, I was absolutely not friends with Tom.  
“Oh, I think I remember you. The feminine writer, right?” Chester asked.  
“Uh yeah....” I trailed off.  
“Why are you calling, Nate?”  
“My name is Nick....” I corrected him, suddenly wondering how many feminine writers he’d been with, and finding myself jealous at how many men he must’ve been with, the only man I’d ever slept with had been him.  
“Yeah, sorry, I get together with a lot of men” Chester said.  
I found myself laughing “Well, aren’t you lucky?”  
Chester laughed too “Yeah, I’m living the dream.”  
“I was wondering if maybe you wanted to get together again?” I asked, getting right to the point.  
“Alright, Norton, where do you want to meet up?” Chester asked.  
“Nick” I corrected.  
“Right” Chester said.

And that’s how Chester McKee ended up in my bed with his lips on my neck. Before we could get too intimate, there was a knock on my door.  
“Fuck. I’ll be right back” I said as I threw on a robe.  
I opened my front door to find Gatsby standing there with the biggest smile on his face.  
“Old sport, are you...” Gatsby trailed off as he came to the realization I must have someone over.  
“Am I interrupting, old sport?” Gatsby asked.  
“Uhh...” I trailed off.  
“I apologize, I should’ve called first” Gatsby said.  
“That’s alright” I blushed.  
“I’ll come back later” Gatsby declared.  
“No! It’s okay! You’re more important” I said, cursing myself the second it came out. But Gatsby just smiled.  
Before Gatsby could say another word, Chester walked out of my room, only dressed in a pair of my pajama pants, grabbed a granola bar, and walked over to me.  
“Who’s your friend? Invite him to stay” Chester winked, kissed my cheek, and went back to my room.  
I blushed madly, very embarrassed. And then I became worried.  
“I-It’s not what it looks like, I-I swear it” I stuttered out.  
“Don’t worry, Nick, it’s quite alright. I won’t tell anyone, you have my word” Gatsby promised.  
He called me Nick. He must’ve really meant it  
“You...... you’re not upset? Disgusted?” I asked.  
Gatsby just shook his head. Although he did look somewhat upset.  
“I’m sorry you had to find out about this part of my life, especially like this” I apogized as I hung my head in shame.  
Gatsby grabbed my chin and brought my head up to look him in the eyes.  
“Don’t apologize for who you are. And it’s my fault I found out this way, I came by unannounced, it was rude of me, old sport” Gatsby said.  
I stared lovingly at him. I already wanted him before, but now that he was accepting me, I wanted him even more.  
“You have a guest waiting for you, wouldn’t want you to keep him waiting because of me” Gatsby continued after I said nothing.  
As he turned to leave I finally decided to speak up “Gatsby!”  
He turned around “Yes, old sport?”  
I smiled “Thank you.”  
He mirrored my smile “No trouble at all.”  
When I finally went back inside, i thanked Chester, kissed him one final time for his trouble, and sent him on his way. I didn’t want anyone else but Gatsby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t worry. The next chapter is much longer than this :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is unrealistic. Enjoy.

It was about a week later when Gatsby offhandedly brought up that night with Chester.  
“How are things going with you and then man you’re courting?” Gatsby asked.  
I shrugged “I’m not exactly courting him, it was more of a one time occurrence.... well, a two time occurrence.”  
Gatsby nodded “I see.”  
I smiled. It felt so good to talk about stuff like this with someone besides Jordan. As much as I enjoy talking to her about this, it was nice to talk about it with him for a change.  
“It would logically make the most sense to court him, and be the safest, but I don’t love him” I explained.  
Gatsby nodded again “Who do you love?”  
My brain shouted ‘you‘ over and over again.  
“Nothing... no one... it doesn’t matter” I said, trying not to be too obvious.  
“Of course it matters, old sport! Don’t you want to be happy?” he asked.  
“I do, of course I do. But it’s not logical” I explained.  
“You’re a writer. Since when do you have to be logical?” he asked with a smile.  
I smiled back “Since it applies to my life.”  
Gatsby patted me on the back in a friendly matter “You’ll find someone.”  
I didn’t believe him. Not one bit. But he was such a hopeful person that I didn’t want to crush his optimist view.  
“I’m sure I will” I responded.  
We sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes.  
“Do you want to know why I moved here?” I suddenly asked.  
Gatsby nodded.  
So I told him the entire story of becoming engaged and then moving to West Egg. I made sure to mention that although I dated a few women, I wasn’t interested in women at all. It was the most truthful I’ve ever been. It felt so good to tell the truth again. I missed being able to tell the truth. For a minute I felt like I was the person I used to be, telling the truth without a moments hesitation. But after my father found out my interest in men, he taught me how to lie from a young age.  
“That’s terrible. No one should have to go through that” Gatsby said quietly.  
I nodded sadly “But I think I like my life better here in West Egg. Here I have a few people who accept me for I am. I have friends. I have you and Jordan.”  
Gatsby smiled.  
“About Jordan... are you really dating her?” he asked.  
I shook my head “No, she & I are just friends.”  
“Good” he smiled.  
His smile was so contagious, I had to smile back.  
“Does Jordan know you’re...” he trailed off.  
“Yes she does. Also you can say it, you know” I said.  
“Well I just didn’t want to hurt your feelings, old sport” he said.  
I shrugged “It’s the truth.”  
“Sometimes the truth hurts” he said in a way that made it obvious he was talking from personal experience.  
I thought back to all the times the truth of how I am hurt me.  
“Yeah. Sometimes” I said.  
“But in this case, you can say it when it’s just you and I. It’s alright” I said.  
Gatsby nodded “Alright. What word do you use?”  
I shrugged “With Jordan, I use queer because she knows what I mean, but hypothetically if I was going to tell someone new I’d probably use homosexual so they wouldn’t think I meant queer as in odd. But say what you want, I don’t care.”  
Gatsby smiled yet again “Good to know.”  
We sat in a comfortable silence for awhile again.  
“Once I was with a man. During the war” Gatsby suddenly said.  
Now it was time for him to tell his truth.  
I sat up straighter, in an intrigued manner  
“His name was John. He was wonderful, but tragically, he died.” Gatsby explained  
“Oh god, that’s terrible, I’m so sorry” I said.  
Gatsby nodded to acknowledge what I said.  
“This is a personal question, if you don’t want to answer, don’t feel obliged to, alright?” I said.  
Gatsby nodded.  
“I’m confused. You were with John but I thought you loved Daisy?” I asked.  
“I did. I do... I do love her” Gatsby said.  
“But I loved John too” Gatsby continued.  
I nodded, not completely understanding, but acknowledging his words.  
“I’m not sure what I am, old sport. I’m not homosexual. I’m not heterosexual. I’m just.... me. Just Jay Gatsby” Gatsby said.  
I nodded “Thank you for telling me.”  
Gatsby smiled sweetly “Thank you for understanding.”  
I wanted to kiss him so bad. I had to stab my fingernails into my hand to stop myself from pulling him into a kiss. I wouldn’t ruin what we had. Just because he was interested in men didn’t mean he was interested in me. I had to remind myself of his feelings for Daisy. So I held back, enjoyed his company, and kept my distance, like an ‘old sport’ should.

When I got home, I called Jordan.  
“Gatsby knows I’m queer!” I screamed into the phone the second it was answered.  
“Nicky?” I heard my cousins voice sing.  
“Daisy?” I asked, suddenly wondering if in my anxious state I’d called the wrong number.  
“Gatsby knows you’re......strange?” She asked.  
I felt a lump form in my throat.  
“Uh yeah” I said.  
“Well that’s hardly news, Nicky. Everyone knows you’re a little.....different” She said.  
“Um well.... Gatsby is so fancy I didn’t he’d take well to it” I nervously explained.  
Before Daisy could say anything, I spoke again.  
“Is Jordan there?” I asked.  
“Oh yes, sorry Nicky. Here she is” She apologized as she handed the phone over.  
“Nick, darling!” Jordan hollered.  
“I hate you” I said, trying not to laugh.  
“And I’m sure you have a fantastic reason for that” she said sweetly.  
“I almost just had to tell Daisy about me because she answered!” I yelled.  
“And who’s fault is that?” she asked.  
I scoffed “Mine.”  
“Alright, that’s settled then” she laughed.  
“What’s that witch doing at your house anyway?” I asked.  
“Speak ill of her again, see what happens” she threatened.  
“Don’t you think you could do better?” I asked  
“No. Don’t you think you could do better?” she replied.  
“No” I answered truthfully.  
“Alright then” she said.  
“Alright then” I repeated. Beat.  
“So, what’s this call in reference to?” she asked in a non friendly voice.  
“You’re mad” I observed.  
“Wouldn’t you be if I said something bad about Gatsby?” she asked.  
I sighed “Yes.”  
“Bye Nicholas” she said.  
It reminded me of my father, as he was the only one to ever call me that. If it hadn’t, I probably would’ve apologized right away.  
“Bye Jordan Fay” I spat. I immediately felt terrible for not just apologizing. But anytime I was reminded of my father, I got angry. Then the phone went dead.

A week had passed since I’d spoken to Jordan. It sucked. I felt like I’d lost my best friend. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I was at Gatsbys’ when I finally brought up what was bothering me to anyone.  
“Jordan and I aren’t speaking” I said out of the blue.  
“Oh?” Gatsby asked.  
I nodded sadly.  
“What happened? I thought the two of you were quite close” Gatsby said.  
“Yeah we are. Were” I said.  
“I had called her after you & I discussed my queerness and other related stuff. Daisy was over at Jordan’s and I....” I trailed off. How could I explain this without telling Gatsby about Jordan? I was sure Gatsby wouldn’t mind at all, but it wasn’t my place to tell others about Jordan’s personal information, not even if we weren’t on speaking terms.  
“And?” Gatsby asked politely.  
“Well I said something insulting about Daisy, and being her best friend, Jordan was upset with me. I didn’t apologize for a stupid reason. We haven’t spoken since” I explained.  
“Why would you insult Daisy?” Gatsby asked. I mentally cursed myself.  
“It wasn’t anything terribly bad, I promise you. I let my own feelings get in the way of how I spoke about my dear cousin” I explained.  
Gatsby looked confused “Oh.”  
“I’m not sure how to get Jordan to forgive me” I said.  
“Maybe get her some flowers, old sport” Gatsby suggested.  
“Jordan really isn’t the flower type” I said.  
“Maybe all she wants is an apology” Gatsby offered.  
“I’m sure that’s all she wants. But I feel bad for causing this whole mess” I explained.  
Gatsby nodded understandably.  
I suddenly had an epiphany of how to get her to forgive me, but I had no idea of how to go about it. I had to set up Jordan and Daisy. Suddenly, I frowned. How was I to do that without hurting Gatsby? As much as I wanted to be with him myself, I didn’t want him to be unhappy, who was I to take that away from him?  
“I have an idea of how to get Jordan’s forgiveness. But you’re not going to like it” Gatsby and I said in unison.  
I looked at him curiously “Lay it on me.”  
“I very much suspect Jordan has an interest in your cousin” Gatsby said.  
“How did you know?” I asked.  
Gatsby shrugged “I had a inkling.”  
I nodded, still unsure of how he could see Jordan’s interest in Daisy but not see my interest in him.  
“We’re going to have to set them up” Gatsby smiled deviously.  
“Yeah- wait, you’re okay with that?” I asked, suddenly confused.  
“I think I put Daisy and our love on a pedestal, old sport” Gatsby said.  
“The feelings are still lingering, but I’ve been having feelings for another person, and I now suspect that love is much different than what I’ve been feeling for Daisy these past few years” Gatsby continued.  
My breath hitched. Right away my heart shouted that the new person he had feelings for was me. My brain told it to shut up.  
“Alright, lets go get those lovebirds together, then” I said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I chose the name John bc my boyfriend has an original character that could’ve easily hooked up w Gatsby since he was also in the war...  
> Also I love Daisy but since this is from Nicks pov I had to remind myself to not be so nice about her....


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate Tom. So much. But I found myself wondering about the New Haven days. Frankly, I think I wrote Tom too nice and too happy, but if at some point both Daisy and Nick could be fond of him, he must’ve at least seemed nice.... I have to believe that. Also this may seem kind of like such a random chapter, but this IS called the life and times of nick carraway,,, so

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my thirty years. But by far this was my worst. It all started in my New Haven years at Yale.

I’d been at college orientation when I saw him for the first time. His body so hard his shirt almost didn’t fit. Being me, I’d unintentionally stopped what I was doing and stared at the handsome man in front of me.  
The hulking man had books and textbooks in his hand. Suddenly, he dropped them, it almost looked like on purpose.  
I guess I wasn’t the only one enchanted by him because a few women and I all dropped to the ground to try to pick up the books he’d dropped. I felt lucky that I’d gotten to the books first, that I got the privilege to return these books to the man.  
“Uhh I-I think t-these are yours” I stuttered nervously as I handed the books over.  
The man smiled big, teeth and all. And I felt my knees go weak.  
“Thank you sir” the man said.  
He called me sir.  
“Your welcome” I squeaked out.  
“Got a name? Or should I continue to call you sir?” he asked.  
_‘Continue to call me sir’ I silently thought._  
“Uhh my name is Nick” I answered.  
“Got a last name, Nick?” he asked.  
“It’s uh Carraway” I replied.  
“Carraway, huh? I like that” he complimented. I blushed.  
“I’m Tom Buchanan” he said as he put his hand out for me to shake.  
I shook his hand, but his grip was so tight that I had to hold back from whining.  
“Well, Nick, you should come to this beginning of the year party. Heard of it?” he asked.  
“Oh! Of course I’ll come, I love parties!” I exclaimed. Although that wasn’t really true, I hated parties with a passion, but was I just going to say no to the handsome man in front of me? Of course not.

That’s how I ended up, hours later, in Tom’s dorm room, drunk off my ass.  
“I-I hate the word hulking, ya know! Even as a joke!” Tom slurred.  
I giggled.  
“Wh- what word do you hate?” Tom hiccuped.  
“All of’m! They can all go to hell!” I chanted.  
Tom laughed.  
I wanted to kiss him. Badly. Instead I said “Y-you should meet my cousin.”

And that’s how days later Tom and Daisy ended up meeting. Tom and Daisy getting together in the first place was all my fault. It made me sick. But at the time, I didn’t see much of a solution for me. I either did the one thing I could control and try to set him up with someone of my choice or let him go. If I’d known at the time how terrible he actually is, I’d let him go.  
The more I got to know Tom in our New Haven years, the more I grew to hate him. He was not a good man. It took a few years for that smile to stop making me weak in the knees. But eventually his hateful speech and casual racism did a number on me and repulsed me. Too bad it didn’t have the same effect on Daisy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nick being responsible for Tom and Daisy getting together is his punishment for his few Unstanable Moments in the book that I’m still mad at him over.


	6. Chapter 6

I was in my driveway, putting suitcases I’d packed into the trunk of a taxi.  
“Going on a vacation, old sport?” I heard Gatsby’s voice say, making me jump.  
“Sorry, old sport, didn’t mean to frighten you” he apologized.  
“Hello” I greeted, instead of answering his question.  
He smiled “Hi.”  
I continued putting my stuff into the trunk, avoiding Gatsby’s question.  
“So where are you off to?” he asked again.  
I sighed “Home.”  
“What do you mean, old sport? You are home” he asked.  
“I meant home as in where I grew up” I explained.  
He frowned “Why would you go back there? After what your dad did? And how could you go back without saying goodbye?”  
“First of all, after I got all my stuff together, I was going to stop by and say goodbye” I replied, although that wasn’t necessarily true, I’d actually planned on either writing him a letter or calling him once I returned home.  
He nodded, but I could tell he didn’t believe me. He knew me too well.  
“I’m going back home because....” I trailed off.  
He put his hand on my shoulder, encouraging me to go on.  
“I’m thirty. Thirty years old. Five years too old to be lying to myself. I have to face the truth” I sighed.  
“The truth?” he questioned.  
“Daisy isn’t going to leave Tom for Jordan. As amazing as Jordan is, it’s not going to happen. So Jordan isn’t going to forgive me. And I’m in love with someone who will never love me back. I’m at a dead end, Gatsby. There’s no where else for me to go. No one else I have to turn to” I admitted.  
He blinked furiously “You have me!”  
“Yeah but not in the good way” I mumbled.  
“Hurry up!” The taxi driver yelled.  
Of course, Gatsby slipped him a generous tip, as a way to say “back off”.  
“As you can see, I have to go. I really enjoyed having you as my friend, thank you for everything. I’ll call you when I get home” I promised.  
“You can’t just leave! You’re the one who told me I couldn’t live in the past! Hypocrite!” he fumed.  
I was shocked. I’d seen him lose his temper before, but it was never directed towards me.  
“I’m very sorry for snapping at you like that, old sport. I hope you understand it’s because that’s how badly I want you to stay” he apologized.  
I nodded. If he were the one leaving, I’d be just as upset.  
“Why would you even want to go back there after what your father did?” he asked.  
I hesitated before I spoke “He means well. By trying to marry me off to some beautiful girl he was only trying to help me. Do what’s best for me.”  
“Was he? Was he really looking out for your best interests?” he asked.  
I scowled. My father being brought up or spoke about by anyone other than myself made me irritably mad.  
“Yes, Jay! I love my father very much and I’m not going to hate him forever for one incident!” I spat.  
Now, he looked shocked. I’d never lost my temper in front of him before, especially never because of him.  
My senses came to me faster this time than with Jordan.  
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. It’s just..... the topic of my father is something I’m very sensitive to. In fact, it’s why I didn’t apologize to Jordan right away” I explained.  
He looked at me with pity. It made me want to puke.  
“It’s okay. I understand, old sport” he said.  
I was about to tell him I had to go, but he spoke first.  
“Please don’t leave me. I’ll help you get Jordan to forgive you, I already said I would in the first place. And whoever you’re in love with, I won’t judge you for it, in fact, I’ll help you get him. Just please stay” he begged.  
The Jay Gatsby, begging me, a regular bond seller, to stay. It was amazing.  
I started pulling my suitcases out of the trunk “Okay.”  
“Wait, really? Okay? Just like that?” he asked.  
I laughed “You begged me. How could I say no to that?”  
“Well I didn’t-“ he started.  
I just looked at him.  
“Okay, I begged” he admitted.  
I smiled.  
After helping get my things out of the trunk, he paid the taxi driver for his trouble, which I, of course, objected to, saying I was perfectly capable of paying him off myself.  
With a giant smile, he helped me carry my things back inside.  
“So who are you in love with anyhow?” he asked.  
“It doesn’t matter” I said.  
“That’s what you said before!” he whined.  
“What made you think I’d tell you now?” I asked.  
He laughed “I don’t know? Maybe the pep talk I just gave you!”  
I laughed in return “Going to have to try harder than that, Gatsby.”  
“Is it Tom? Please tell me it’s not Tom” he whined.  
“Oh god no!” I exclaimed.  
He smiled “Good. Because you deserve better.”  
I smiled back sweetly “So do you.”

Despite my disbelief that Daisy would leave Tom for Jordan, Gatsby & I ended up sneaking around the Buchanans’ place. Often, it’d just be Gatsby. This was for a few reasons. First of all, sneaking around at the Buchanans’ wasn’t unusual for him, he had the perfect excuse if Daisy or Jordan were to see him. Second of all, his charming demeanor always ceased odd questions from being asked.  
So since Gatsby snook around, usually without me, I’d been getting lonely. With Jordan mad at me, Daisy was also ignoring me and since Gatsby was busy investigating, I had no one to spend time with. There was always Tom... but I wasn’t lonely enough to subject myself to his company.  
This loneliness had me, yet again, calling up the world famous Chester McKee. But for different reasons than the last time I’d called.  
“McKee residence, Chester speaking” The words rolled off his tongue so perfectly that it wasn’t hard to believe he got the attention of so many men.  
“Hello. it’s Nick Carraway” I said.  
“Mm I think I remember you. Did we have sex last night?” I could almost hear his smirk over the phone.  
“Ah no. I’m likely the first man to ever turn you down” I laughed.  
“Bingo! The anxious writer that lives next door to Mr. Gatsby!” he cheered like he’d just won a game.  
“Bingo!” I repeated, making him laugh.  
“You sent me away last time. Are you calling to correct that mistake?” he asked.  
“Actually, no. I’m calling to see if you want to get together. In a platonic way” I clarified.  
“So no sex?” he bluntly asked, making me blush.  
“No sex” I repeated  
“Alright, sounds less fun, but I could use a friend” he said.  
And that’s how Chester McKee ended up sitting across from me on my deck, smoking a cigarette, and playing a card game with me.  
“How can you afford to be so blunt?” I asked out of the blue.  
“How do you mean?” he asked.  
“Last time you were over here, you came out of my bedroom half naked, kissed my cheek, and invited Gatsby in. What if he’d told someone?” I asked.  
“I’d heard about Gatsby and his parties. It was a fair assumption that he wouldn’t tell anyone because, despite the already horrendous rumors about him, he seemed like he wouldn’t want to have his name tied to something negative. I can hear the headline now ‘millionaire Mr. Gatsby befriends homosexual neighbor’ I bet that wouldn’t do anything good for his reputation” he said.  
I laughed “I’m very fond of you.”  
He laughed as well “And I of you.”  
Before we could say anything else, Gatsby was pulling up in his car, beeping his horn.  
“Speak of the devil” Chester murmured as Gatsby made his way up to my deck.  
“Hello, old sport...” Gatsby greeted but trailed off as if he’d only noticed Chester now. Before I could say anything, Gatsby spoke again.  
“What’s he doing here?” Gatsby asked.  
“Jay, don’t be rude” I warned crossly.  
“I apologize I didn’t mean to-“ Gatsby started.  
I cut him off “Chester here was kind enough to come all the way out here to keep me company while all the drama ensued.”  
“Oooh drama! Tell me everything!” Chester exclaimed beside me.  
I laughed “Long story short I don’t have any friends left.”  
Gatsby and Chester gasped simultaneously.  
“Except you two” I corrected.  
And then we were all laughing. The joy flooded the air, filling us all with fleeting happiness. And just for a minute everything was okay. Laughing with the only people I had left. It should’ve been lonely. But it wasn’t. It was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nick lying to Gatsby about saying goodbye might’ve been off-putting but despite how most fanfiction portray him, Nick lies... even if he claims he doesn’t. No shade at people who write honest!Nick because I love the idea of him not being a liar... but I like the idea of Gatsby knowing when he’s lying :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gets cheesy and sweet with friendship, I’m sorry I missed my wonderful wlw/mlm solidarity brotp so much, I couldn’t stand keeping them apart.

I was sick of playing games. I don’t mean with Gatsby, of course, I’d never tell him the truth about how I felt about him. I meant with Jordan. I decided I was going to just apologize instead of going through with the ridiculous plan. Despite still wanting to go through with said plan, Gatsby insisted he come along when I went to go see Jordan. I wish I would’ve done this right away. I missed her like crazy.

When we finally arrived at the Buchanans’, Daisy was outside and she gave me a dirty look that lasted 3 seconds before throwing her arms around my neck and telling me how much she missed me. If that was her reaction to seeing me, you can guess what she did when she saw Gatsby, but I didn’t stick around to find out.  
When I saw Jordan in the Buchanans’ garden, she looked unhappy to see me. I didn’t blame her. But nevertheless, I smiled at her and somehow convinced her to listen to me, but only for one minute.  
“Listen, I know I was rude and out of line that day, and I know this apology is way over due and I’m very embarrassed as to why I got upset but since you are my very best friend, I’ll tell you. You called me Nicholas. The only person to ever call me that was my father. I have..... issues with my father.... it’s a long story... but my father doesn’t accept me and before I moved to West Egg, he betrayed me and I’ll be honest, I’m not completely over it.” I explained.  
Jordan looked at me with sympathy.  
Jordan pushed Gatsby out of the way “Move!”  
Then she wrapped me into a gigantic hug.  
Gatsby looked phased from being pushed, but Jordan & I were too caught up in our reunion to care.  
“I missed you so much!” I exclaimed.  
“I missed you too!” Jordan yelled.  
“I absolutely adore Daisy but spending so much time with her meant I had to spend time with Tom! It was retched!” Jordan wailed in my ear.  
“I’m so sorry you had to go through that!” I exclaimed.  
“I know!” Jordan squealed.  
“And as much as I adore Gatsby, I couldn’t be as queer around him!” I whined in her ear.  
“That horrid, my dear!” Jordan groaned.  
“I know!” I yelled.  
“Ok this is odd” Gatsby laughed behind us. We were still hugging.  
“Put a sock it!” Jordan and I yelled in unison.  
Gatsby just laughed again.  
“They’re absolutely adorable together, aren’t they?” Daisy asked Gatsby.  
Gatsby gritted his teeth together “Yes. Absolutely adorable.”  
“He sounds jealous” Jordan whispered in my ear.  
“You’re hilarious” I stated.  
“Shush dear” Jordan laughed.  
“Gatsby, you must let me take your gorgeous yellow car out so Nick and I can have a girls night!” Jordan exclaimed.  
“Oooh! Girls night! Can I come?” Daisy squealed.  
Jordan smiled sweetly. I gave her a dirty look.  
Jordan shot the dirty look back at me before whispering “You betrayed me. You owe me this.”  
I crossed my arms “Jordan!”  
Jordan sighed “Fine, I won’t invite her along, but only because I missed you.”  
“Anyway, I’d love to drive your beautiful car, Gatsby. You can take mine. Or ride home with Daisy here, she’s a wonderful driver” Jordan winked.  
“She’s the worst driver ever, I highly suggest you don’t lend her your car” I warned.  
“Nick! For gods sake, live a little! Stop ruining all the fun!” Jordan whined.  
“I’ve never met a more boring homosexual in my life” Jordan teased, whispering in my ear.  
I laughed “That’s me, Nick boringway.”  
“You’re hilarious. Let’s go” Jordan demanded.  
“You two are free to take my car” Gatsby finally spoke.  
“What a gentleman! See, Nick!” Jordan exclaimed, blowing Gatsby a kiss.  
“That’s really not nec-“ I started.  
“Don’t be rude, Nick! Learn to take what’s offered to you!” Jordan cut me off.  
“Alright, if you insist. Nice seeing you Daisy, have a good day. Gatsby, I’ll see you later.” I said as Jordan grabbed my hand and dragged me away.  
Daisy waves “Bye Nicky! Bye Jordan!”  
Gatsby followed us like a lost puppy “Have a nice time, old sport, Miss Baker. Hope to see you later.”  
“Thank you, Gatsby!” I waved as Jordan pushed me into his car.  
Gatsby waved back “No trouble at all!”

That’s how Jordan and I ended up at a fancy restaurant.  
“I can’t afford this” I stated.  
“I know, dear. Don’t worry, all expenses are being taken care of” she winked.  
“By who?” I questioned.  
“You’ll never believe it! Me!” she giggled.  
“You’re wonderful, but I won’t let you pay for me” I objected.  
“Nick, dear, I can afford to spoil you, so I will” she said sweetly.  
I smiled “You treat me too well.”  
She smiled too “It’s what you deserve.”  
After our waiter came and we ordered our meals, I remembered I had something to tell her.  
I grabbed her hand very dramatically “Miss Baker! You’ll never believe what’s happened!”  
“You must tell me!” She exclaimed.  
“Gatsby has a wild plan to throw you and Daisy together. Well, it was my plan and his for a way to get you to forgive me, but I missed you too much to wait” I explained, whispering so no one would hear.  
“Does that mean he isn’t interested in Daisy anymore?” she questioned.  
I nodded before adding “Well, he said he still has some feelings for her, but he has feelings for someone else.”  
Jordan punched me lightly on the arm “Nick, you fool! He obviously has feelings for you!”  
I blushed “No.... no he doesn’t.”  
“Oh Nick, you sweet sweet imbecile! You’re so beautiful you’ve never had to compensate for anything before, it’s not your fault you’re not clever!” she exclaimed.  
“Huh?” I mumbled questionably.  
“You beautiful dimwit musk ox” she said.  
“Again I must ask... huh?” I said.  
“Gatsby is in love with you and I’m doomed to sulk about my unrequited love alone forever” she whined.  
“You won’t be alone in that sulking, Gatsby and I will never be together” I reassured.  
“We’ll see” she said.  
We ate the rest of our meals in silence, except a few jokes and giggles in between.  
It felt so good for things to be back to normal. I missed her so much. Now it’s like we’d never fought in the first place, with laughing, teasing and discussing our queerness, we felt content and happy. If I could never be with Gatsby, if she could never be with Daisy, I knew, if we had each other, we’d both be okay in the end. We’d always have each other’s backs. Isn’t that what best friends are for anyway?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used a parks and recreation moments in this chapter, not word for word, but the basis of it lol


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lots of shenanigans ensue in this chapter... it’s cheesy.... but let me live

A few days after making up with Jordan, she showed up at my house, quite early, before I’d even gotten up to get ready for work.  
I rubbed the grogginess out of my eyes as I opened the door to find her smiling sweetly at me.  
“Not that I don’t love seeing you, but what brings you to my eyesore of a home so early?” I asked.  
“I’m engaged!!!” Jordan squealed, flashing me the gigantic ring on her finger.  
I was speechless for a minute, holding her hand and staring at the fat diamond on her finger.  
“To who?” I finally asked, opening the door to let her in.  
“Some rich man—what was his name?” she pondered.  
“You can’t marry a man!” I exclaimed.  
“Look at this beautiful ring! How could I say no?” she pouted.  
“But-“ I started.  
“Nick, dear, I’m not like you! I’m not going to end up with the rich love of my life! I have money now, sure, but what happens when I can’t talk or pay my way out of being caught cheating at golf? I’m a women in a male dominated sport, I can’t get away with that kind of stuff forever like a man could” she explained.  
“I understand, but you can’t go through with this, you’ll never be happy this way!” I exclaimed.  
“You are not my boss, Nick Carraway, I am a grown woman and I’ll do what I want” she sneered.  
“I know! I’m just trying to protect from making the same mistakes I’ve made” I said.  
She slumped down on my couch with a sigh “It’s not that I actually want to marry him! Like I said before, marriage equals money!”  
“If you’re really worried about that, I’ll help you invest the money you do have now and put some money aside for later” I offered.  
“Nick you’re a genius! Why didn’t I think of that?” she exclaimed.  
“How odd, the other day I believe you called me an imbecile!” I teased.  
“Yes, dear, but that was about love, not finances!” she exclaimed.  
I smiled “Never change.”  
“I wouldn’t dream of it!” she cheered.  
“Anyway now that we have that settled, you must try on this gorgeous ring!” she continued.  
Before I could even answer she slipped it on my ring finger excitedly.  
“Oh my, it’s beautiful, no wonder you had such a hard time saying no!” I said as I examined it on my finger.  
“You look splendid! It hurts me that we have to give it back” she whined.  
“It’s a tragedy!” I mocked.  
“How about I call off the engagement and keep the ring?” she suggested happily.  
“You can’t do that!” I yelled.  
“Why not?” she pouted.  
“You know why” I said.  
“Then you can’t wear it anymore!” she laughed as she tried to take it off of me. But it wouldn’t come off, which only made her laugh harder.  
“Oh no” I said anxiously.  
She giggled even harder “It’s a sign!”  
“Yeah, a sign that I shouldn’t be trying on women’s engagement rings!” I exclaimed as I continued to try to get it off.  
“But your fingers are so petite, who would’ve known this was a possibility of happening!” she teased.  
“Ha ha ha” I laughed humorlessly.  
“This is the universe telling you that your true love is coming” she said.  
“You don’t believe in that kind of stuff” I reminded her.  
“No, but you do!” she sang.  
“What are we gonna do?” I asked.  
“If only you had a gorgeous rich neighbor who could help!” she giggled.  
“No! No way!” I refused.  
“Yes! Yes way!” she smirked.  
“I hate you” I deadpanned.  
“I know! Let’s go!” she demanded.

That’s how I ended up at Gatsby’s door with a engagement ring on my finger.  
“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this” I mumbled.  
She giggled “Me neither!”  
This was the first time I’d came to Gatsby’s door and it be answered by him. He looked surprised to see us together at his door so early.  
“Hello old sport, Miss Baker” Gatsby said.  
Jordan started giggling “You’ll never believe what happened to Nick!”  
Gatsby smiled “I bet I won’t. Come in.”  
We were sitting in Gatsby’s living room and Jordan was giggling nonstop.  
“So what happened was-“ I started.  
“Let me tell it! It’s my story!” she cheered.  
“Okay” I agreed.  
“So Nick tries on my engagement ring and— Nick, you say it, it’s much funnier if you say it!” she giggled.  
“So Jordan put the ring on me and-“ I started.  
“No! Let me say it!” she interrupted.  
“So Nick tore the ring out of my hand-“ she started.  
“That’s not how it happened!” I whined.  
“Anyway, Nick put the ring on and- let’s say it together!” she said.  
“No, just you. No, together!” she said.  
“The ring got-“ I started.  
“Nick got the ring stuck on his finger!” she exclaimed, bursting into laughter.  
I held my hand up to show him the ring “True story.”  
Gatsby giggled along with Jordan.  
I crossed my arms “I hate you both.”  
“That made my day, thank you for stopping by to tell me that” Gatsby said.  
“Actually, he still needs help getting it off” she said, still laughing slightly.  
“Yes, and I have to go to work soon, so if you dimwits would stop laughing and help me, it would be much appreciated!” I whined, which only made them laugh harder.  
I crossed my arms and scowled.  
“Okay, okay, how do you suppose I help?” he asked.  
“I don’t know, you’re rich, think of something!” I whined.  
Then I smiled sweetly and batted my eyelashes “Please.”  
“How can I say no to that?” he beamed.  
Jordan nudged me and whispered “See. I told you he’s in love with you.”  
“I wish you were right. But he’s just doing a favor for a friend” I whispered.  
“We’ll see” she whispered.  
“Alright let’s get this ring off” I said.  
“It’s a shame, it looks nice on you” he said.  
I blushed “Thank you.”  
He put his hand on mine and tried to inch the ring off me and I tried to focus on steadying my knees to keep them from visibly shaking. Even the slight touch of his hand on mine made me flustered.  
When he couldn’t get it off just by pulling on it, he pulled me out of my seat up, and dragged me by my hand to another room. It was almost like he forgot Jordan’s existence.  
I was about to ask where we were going when he opened the door to the bathroom and dragged me in.  
“I feel quite like an imbecile for not trying to get this ring off with water before coming here” I said.  
“I’m glad you didn’t or I wouldn’t have been able to get a laugh out of this situation” he said.  
I put my hands under the running water and tried to pry the ring off. Before I could, Gatsby wrapped his arms around me, put his hands into the sink, grabbed my hands and slipped the ring off. With his body almost hugging me from behind, I felt my knees grow weak. When I turned around, my face ended up inches from Gatsby’s.  
I blushed “Thank you.”  
“No trouble at all” he said.  
Shortly after that, I made up the excuse of work and dragged Jordan out the door.  
“You’re welcome” Jordan said.  
I laughed “I hate you.”  
Then I went home and got ready for work with the biggest smile on my face. My life felt like a good book. Just the way I wanted it to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. One of the jokes in here I took from how I met your mother  
> 2\. Nick saying “true story” feels so wrong and modern but it fits let me live


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this update took awhile, I saw a les mis production and valvert took over as my raging otp, but I am back and full on natsby :)

“Are you sure you’re not courting Chester?”  
I was sitting with Gatsby and out of nowhere he asked me that.  
I sat up straighter “Yes I’m sure.”  
“Why was he at your house a week ago or so?” Gatsby asked.  
I shrugged “We’re friends, he’s a nice man.”  
“I see” Gatsby said quietly.  
“Why do you ask?” I questioned.  
“Isn’t it weird to just be friends with him after you’ve been intimate with him?” Gatsby asked.  
“I thought maybe it would be, but no, it’s not, it’s really nice to have a guy friend for once” I answered.  
Gatsby looked offended “I’m your guy friend.”  
“That’s different” I said, but then realized I had no way of explaining what I meant by that. But Gatsby didn’t ask, he just looked down at his lap in shame.  
Abruptly Gatsby stood up "Alright, Nick, thank you for stopping by, but I have business to attend to."  
He called me Nick. Usually that made my heart beat rapidly, this time, for some reason, it made my heart break. It didn't hold the same sincerity it usually did. I could sense a sad aura. It made me shiver.  
"Okay. I'll see you later" I said instead of asking him what was wrong. I decided to give him space.  
I didn’t see Gatsby for three days. Each time I called him or stopped by, his butler would tell me that he was busy. Considering our last conversation, I didn’t believe it.  
On the fourth day, Gatsby called me. He was chipper as if he hadn’t just ignored me for days.  
“It’s nice to hear from you. I’d started to think you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore” I said, trying to keep the bitterness out of my tone.  
“I apologize, old sport, I had business that was keeping me quite busy” Gatsby said. I could tell he was lying.  
“Alright” I said, despite not believing him.  
“Would you like to come over?” Gatsby asked.  
Despite being slightly irritated with him, I couldn’t say no.

“I’m sorry I said that you didn’t count as one of my guy friends, of course we’re friends, I just consider you more of... uhh a.... um....brother?” I said, but mentally cursed at myself. I just referred to the man I’m in love with as my brother. Yikes.  
Gatsby frowned. I didn’t understand why.  
“That wasn’t why I was upset, but don’t worry about it, I’m over it” Gatsby said.  
I furrowed my brow “Then what upset you? If you don’t tell me, I’ll end up doing it again, I don’t want to hurt you.”  
Gatsby waved his hand nonchalantly “Ah it’s nothing.”  
I frowned “Okay.”  
Gatsby looked exhausted. Bags under his eyes, disheveled hair, crooked tie. So it wasn’t any surprised when he fell asleep. What was surprising was that he was using my shoulder as a pillow. I smiled. How did he manage to stay flawless while sleeping?

I opened my eyes to find myself in Gatsby’s house. On Gatsby’s couch. Gatsby was still sleeping, now on my chest. I blushed. I must’ve fallen asleep too. But I didn’t want to get up. I wanted to lay here with Gatsby forever. But regardless I tried to move away from him, but he wrapped his arms around me, stopping me from moving altogether. I smiled even bigger. But then, suddenly, I remembered I had to go to work, if I didn’t leave in less than 5 minutes, I would be late. I quickly wrote Gatsby a note saying I’d gone to work.  
I didn’t have time to change or even brush my hair, but I wasn’t very social at work, not many people knew me, so I reassured myself that nobody would notice. I was wrong.  
A coworker of mine, was his name John? Jack? I couldn’t remember, approached me.  
“Same suit as yesterday with a crooked tie, messy hair, Mr. Carraway, did you finally meet someone and f—” he asked.  
I cut him off “Absolutely not.”  
He laughed “Tell that to the blush on your face.”  
He walked away, but I yelled at him from across the room “I did not have sex!”  
All of my coworkers eyes drifted to me. I said that very loud. Yikes. I embarrassedly walked back to my desk and dramatically dropped into my chair with a huff “Damn coworkers.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is all over the place, but some of the small details are really important so...  
> also lol nick calling gatsby his brother? real smooth


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays to all!! No matter what you celebrate!!

“Please tell me you aren’t trying to move away again.”  
I was outside my house putting a suitcase into a taxi’s trunk when all of a sudden Gatsby was next to me, speaking almost nervously.  
“No, don’t worry, I’m not trying to move away again. I’m going back home for Christmas” I explained.  
Gatsby scrunched up his nose in confusion “What about your father? He’s the reason you ran away, why would you go back?”  
I frowned “My father somehow figured out I moved to West Egg, I have no idea how. He sent me a letter saying my mother is very sick and might die, so I’m going back to see her.”  
Gatsby put his hand on my shoulder “That’s terrible, I’m so sorry.”  
I gave his a bittersweet smile in return.  
“I’m really not looking forward to seeing my father again, knowing him he’ll try to set me up with multiple women” I sighed.  
“How about I come along then?” Gatsby asked.  
“Uh I’m not sure if that’s a great idea... my father would have my neck if I brought a guy home” I responded.  
“It’ll be easier to fawn off girls with someone like me by your side” he said.  
I burst into laughter and couldn’t deny him from coming any longer.

  
When I arrived home, one thing was already abundantly clear: my mother was not sick. She was sitting on the porch with her neighbor friend and laughing. I felt my skin boil. How dare my father lie about my mother’s health to trick me into coming home. I slammed my hand down on the wheel, sounding the horn.  
Gatsby jumped “What’s wrong?”  
I pointed to the woman on the left “That’s my mother.”  
Gatsby moved his sunglasses up to his head and squinted “She’s the picture of health!”  
“That bastard tricked me! I should’ve seen this from a mile away!” I exclaimed.  
Gatsby & I parked and walked up to the house.  
“Hello mother” I greeted.  
My mother shot up out of her chair and hugged me “I missed you so much Nicky!”  
I smiled “I missed you too.”  
When she pulled away, she looked over to Gatsby.  
“Who is the handsome man?” she asked.  
“Mother, this is my friend, Jay Gatsby, Gatsby, my mother, Lucy” I introduced them.  
We went inside. A few of my younger siblings were running around and screaming. When they saw me, they all ran up to me and hugged my legs.  
I smiled. Maybe coming home wasn’t such a bad idea after all.  
“Mother, can I speak to you in the kitchen?” I asked, waving my cousins off my legs.  
My mother walked to the kitchen and I silently followed.  
“Mother, do you know what father said to me to trick me into coming back home? Were you a part of it?” I asked.  
She looked confused “No, I had no idea you were even coming home!”  
“He wrote to me and told me you were dying!” I fumed.  
“Dying? That old bastard” my mother said, making me laugh.  
“Will you talk to him about that?” I asked, really not wanting to have to face him myself.  
“Of course, Nicky. Now, are you courting that handsome young man...” she trailed off like she forgot his name.  
“Jay, and no I’m not” I answered.  
“I’m going to throw you two together, how long are you staying?” she asked.  
“Please don’t do that... and I’m not sure, maybe a few days” I said.  
“I can tell you like him already, Nicky, and I approve” she said, smiling at me sweetly.  
I smiled so big, it hurt. She really accepted me. She wasn’t my father, and it was wrong for me to leave without giving her an explanation.  
I pulled her into a tight hug “I’m really sorry I left without saying goodbye.”  
“Oh, it’s alright. I heard about your engagement with that woman, so it wasn’t that hard to figure out why you’d left” she said.  
“Still, you didn’t do anything, it was father’s fault” I apologized.  
In response, she just hugged me tighter.

When I walked back into the living room, Gatsby was sitting on the couch and 5 of my cousins were smearing makeup on his face. A smile appeared on my face and I waved at him. He blushed, and waved back. I walked over to them, very curious to how they got him into this situation.  
“So what’s going on here?” I asked.  
Gatsby looked happy at first. Then he looked almost ashamed to be caught like this. Then, suddenly, he stood up and walked away looking very upset. I trailed behind him slowly, unsure on whether to give him space or comfort him.  
Gatsby turned to me “Where’s your bathroom?”  
I pointed to it, and then watched him rush into it and slam the door. I walked over to the bathroom.  
“Gatsby, are you okay?” I asked.  
I heard sniffling and grew very concerned.  
“Yeah, I’m fine” Gatsby responded with a sniffle.  
I decided I’d give him his privacy and talk to him about it later, and walked back into the living room, only to see my father sitting there reading the newspaper.  
I just stood there, my many emotions getting caught in my throat prevented me from speaking. I was furious at the man sitting in front of me. I was still upset that he wasn’t the father I thought him to be. I was happy, despite all he did, I still loved him, I didn’t want to, but it was hard to just cut someone out of your life so suddenly like I did with him.  
When he saw me, he threw his newspaper to the side and stood up “Nicholas! You’re here!”  
Then, he attempted to pull me into a hug, but I pushed him back, even if half of me didn’t want to.  
“Don’t” I hissed.  
“What’s got your panties in a twist today, Nicholas?” he teased.  
“You know exactly what!” I exclaimed.  
Before my father could answer, Gatsby was walking back into the living room, his big, perfect smile back on his face.  
My father looked him up and down “Who’s this?”  
“This is my friend Jay Gatsby, Gatsby, this is my terrible father you’ve heard all about” I smirked.  
Gatsby stifled a giggle “Nice to meet you sir.”  
I could tell Gatsby was faking this nice guy act. He was forcing himself to be polite.  
My father also pulled on a fake smile “Nice to meet you too.”  
If it was even possible, my father’s fake smile grew bigger. “Excuse us for a minute, I need to talk to my dear son in private” My father said, grabbing my arm and dragging me out of the living room.  
“That was rude” I said when we were in the kitchen.  
“I can’t believe you brought your little boyfriend with you!” he said.  
“He’s not my boyfriend” I clarified.  
“Don’t give me that shit! Why would you bring just a friend back home for Christmas?” he asked.  
“You really want to know?” I asked.  
“Because I can’t stand being around you!” I yelled before he could even respond.  
He scowled “That really wasn’t necessary, Nicholas.”  
I let out a heavy sigh “Maybe that was a little harsh, but it’s true.”  
He ignored me “Well, Mr. Gatsby will be sharing a room with Matt.”  
Matt was my oldest cousin, a bond seller in his mid 20’s, already married to a nice lady. He was all my father wanted me to be.  
I furrowed my brows “That’s really not necessary, Gatsby can share my old room with me.”  
“No, he won’t be sharing a room with you. Who knows what you two will do if you’re left alone unsupervised” he said.  
I felt my blood boil.  
“I am no longer a child, father! You cannot control what I do or who I do anymore! Also, newsflash father! Gatsby is my neighbor, if I wanted to fuck him, I could’ve walked right over there and knocked on the door and got what I wanted in less than 10 minutes! And I already told you, we’re just friends!” I roared.  
“I’m sorry, Nicholas. I’m sorry, but I can’t trust you not to be intimate with him. So no, you won’t be sharing a room with Mr. Gatsby” he stated.  
“I can share a room with Nick, it’s okay, we’ll behave ourselves” I heard Gatsby speak from behind me. I didn’t even hear him walk into the kitchen.  
“All due respect, Mr. Gatsby, but I don’t think you know my son as well as you think you do” my father said, also looking shocked to see Gatsby there.  
“All due respect, Mr. Carraway, but I don’t think you know your son as well as you think you do. I know what you’re referring to, and I trust him, and so should you” Gatsby smirked, almost like he was proud of how he’d shut down my father.  
I smiled “Thank you, Jay.”

  
My father had threatened to out me to the entire neighborhood, and even write back to Daisy in East Egg and tell her. That’s how Gatsby ended up sharing a room with Matt, who Gatsby oddly got along great with. I’m not sure how I felt about that, Matt was basically a better looking, smarter, more successful version of myself. Gatsby liking him almost made me uncomfortable.  
I heard knocking on my door. Great, it was probably my father there to threaten me more.  
I opened it to find Gatsby in a gold, silky robe, with a smile on his face.  
“Hi” he said.  
“Hi” I said, opening the door to let him in.  
“I couldn’t sleep” he explained.  
“Me either” I said, flopping back onto my bed and patting the other side for Gatsby to sit down on.  
Gatsby sat down with a look of uncertainty.  
“What’s wrong?” I asked.  
“It’s just...... nothing” he mumbled, looking down.  
I impulsively grabbed his chin and lifted up his head to look at me “There’s nothing in the world that you can’t tell me. What is it?”  
Gatsby eyes went from looking down, to wide open staring into mine.  
“Really? Anything?” he asked  
I smiled “Anything.”  
“So what is it?” I continued.  
“It’s just.... I don’t know... sharing a room with Matt. Don’t get me wrong, he’s very nice and I actually quite like him, but....it’s really unsettling that your father would threaten you like that.... and that I didn’t do anything about it” he said.  
“I know, it bothers me too, but I can’t have everyone knowing about me, it’s fine with just Jordan, you, and Chester knowing, but if Daisy finds out, it’ll be the end of me. And it’s not your responsibility to protect me from my father, it’s not your job to stand up to my father for me. It’ll be okay, I’ll be okay.... we’ll be okay” I reassured him, rubbing his back.  
Suddenly, Gatsby pulled me into a tight hug, which I quickly reciprocated.  
“How about.... you stay here tonight?” I asked.  
He nodded “Okay.”

That’s how I woke up in the morning with Gatsby’s head on my chest and his arms wrapped around my waist. I smiled, and without thinking, kissed his forehead.  
Of course, at that second, he woke up.  
Gatsby blushed “Merry Christmas.”  
“Merry Christmas” I trembled, instead of mumbling out a long apology and excuse like I normally would.  
Gatsby untangled himself from me and excused himself to go to the bathroom.  
I sat up in my bed and rubbed my eyes. Instead of getting dressed, I just went into the living room, in case my father was already awake and was thinking of giving Gatsby a hard time.  
“Merry Christmas, Nicholas” my father greeted.  
I was in such a good mood from how I woke up with Gatsby that my father could never wreck it.  
“Merry Christmas, father” I smiled.  
“You’re chipper this morning” my father commented.  
I nodded “I feel fine.”  
My younger cousins were sitting on the floor with Matt reading to them, a few of my aunts and uncles on the couch, my mother  
sitting in an arm chair, chatting quietly with Gatsby, with my father listening intently and scowling.  
“Nicky! Come over here quickly! We want to open presents and we had to wait for you!” My younger cousin, Jamie, exclaimed.  
I laughed “alright, alright.”  
I flopped onto the floor and watched as my little cousins started opening presents and giggling. It was nice to see them again, good to know they were all doing well.

“Nick! You absolute fool! I can’t believe you left without telling me!” Jordan squealed through the phone.  
“I’m sorry, my bastard of a father tricked me into coming home by claiming my mother was dying, so I was in bit of a rush to get home” I explained.  
“Oh that’s absolutely terrible! I’m so sorry dear!” Jordan cried.  
Before I could say anything else, my father entered the kitchen and saw me on the phone.  
“Who are you talking to, Nicholas?” he asked.  
“Ooooh, do you have some man back home that I don’t know about?” Jordan asked.  
“Ew no, that was my father!!” I shrieked.  
Jordan bursted out giggling.  
“Who are you speaking to?” my father asked again.  
I covered the phone “Jordan Baker.”  
“A boyfriend of yours?” He asked.  
“Jordan is a women” I clarified.  
“A women? You’re talking to a women?” my father cheered.  
“Don’t get your hopes up, father, she’s like me” I sing-songed.  
My father mumbled a few swear words and left the kitchen, making Jordan and I both burst into giggles.

Gatsby and I were outside making a snowman with my cousins, and doing a terrible job, that is, when Jamie asked me a question I’d dreaded my entire adult life.  
“How come you never got married?”  
I stiffened “That’s a very complicated question.”  
That’s when my other little cousin, Jack, piped in “No it isn’t, it’s a simple question.”  
I scratched my head, looking at Gatsby for a possible explanation, but only getting a shrug in response.  
“Sometimes... people just aren’t meant to get married.... sometimes people are happy just living on their own and don’t need another person to keep them happy” I explained, but frowned, I shouldn’t have to lie to them, but if my father found out I’d told them the truth, he’d have my head.  
“That’s not true cause if it was you wouldn’t be so gloomy about it” Jamie argued.  
“Yeah!” Jack yelled in agreement.  
“People like me aren’t allowed to get married” I explained, but the second it slipped out, I regretted it. How could I explain something like that? Also, I could see Gatsby frowning next to me.  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” my cousin, Violet, asked.  
“Yeah!” All my other cousins yelled together.  
“Can you guys keep a secret?” I asked.  
Of course, they all nodded in unison.  
“I’m only interested in men, that’s why I’m not married” I explained.  
None of them batted an eye before Jamie asked “Why can’t you marry a man?”  
I smiled, children were wonderful.  
“It’s against the law, sweetie” I explained.  
“That’s dumb!” Charlie, another of my little cousins, yelled.  
“Yeah!” The rest of them shouted in a agreement.  
I looked over at Gatsby, who had his big bright smile back on his beautiful face. Kids were the least judgemental people on earth.

  
When we got back to West Egg, we were both reeling from the events of the vacation—if you can even call it that.  
Gatsby and I were back at his house, exchanging presents with each other. I’d written him a poem, really my real area of expertise was writing stories and such, but my poetry wasn’t so bad either.  
When Gatsby opened it, his eyes flew up to mine “You wrote a poem about me?”  
“Uh yes?” I insecurely answered.  
Gatsby looked down again, reading it, a smile growing on his face “I..... It’s....Nick, it’s beautiful.”  
I blushed “I’m glad you think so.”  
“Thank you so much” he whispered in my ear after pulling me into a hug.  
“Now open yours!” he exclaimed.  
I opened it to see the most beautiful painting I’d ever seen. It was of him and I with our arms around each other.  
“I.... you painted this?” I asked.  
Gatsby shyly nodded.  
“It’s so beautiful... I love it... thank you” I cooed.  
And then we were hugging, and smiling. It was the best part of Christmas so far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Gatsby doesn’t say ‘old sport’ once this entire chapter. Rip old sport!!  
> 2\. At one point in the book, it mentions that Gatsby used to paint, so of course I latched onto that like a fucking leech  
> 3\. Also can u believe that I didn’t even write Nick drinking excessively at all this chapter? Unrealistic!!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is super late! but I’ve been so busy :/

“I thought you were done with this party nonsense.”  
It really wasn’t difficult to tell when Gatsby was planning a party. Therefore, I knew a famous Gatsby party was on its way on New Year’s Eve.  
“Hello, old sport. Happy New Year’s Eve” Gatsby greeted.  
I smiled “Happy New Year’s Eve. You’re throwing a party, I see.”  
Gatsby nodded “Its been awhile, I need to socialize.”  
I laughed “Getting sick of just socializing with me?”  
Gatsby frowned “Absolutely not.”  
“My father wants me come back home for New Years” Gatsby continued.  
I raised an eyebrow “I didn’t know you and your father talked.”  
“Occasionally we do. Usually when he needs money” Gatsby explained  
I nodded “Should’ve known.”  
Gatsby shrugged like it didn’t bother him. I could tell it did.  
“How about you don’t go?” I suggested.  
Gatsby waved dismissively “It won’t hurt me to go see my father the one holiday he asks for me.”  
I smiled “How about....I come along? You supported me and came along when I had to see my father... I want to do the same for you.”  
Gatsby smiled. Then frowned.  
“I’m a little worried my father might say something...... insensitive.....” Gatsby trailed off.  
“Have you met my father? I’m used to it!” I exclaimed.  
Gatsby laughed. Then frowned again.  
“I’m worried he might say something insensitive about me..... not you..... something I would rather not discuss” Gatsby explained.  
I frowned. Was Gatsby hiding something from me? I forget that there’s so many things about Gatsby I don’t know.  
“Okay... I understand.” I reassured.  
Gatsby smiled sweetly “I shouldn’t let my worries about my father’s ignorance stop me from bringing you.... you’re right, you should come.”  
My face lit up “Really?”  
Gatsby nodded.  
“So are you not going to attend your own party?” I asked.  
“The plan was to stay for part of it, and then leave halfway through to go to see my father” Gatsby explained.  
“Ah, the perks of being the invisible man” I teased.  
Gatsby laughed “Is that what they’re calling me these days?”  
I laughed too “Haven’t you heard? They call you everything from the golden god to the devil himself!”  
“If that’s what they call me, what do you call me?” Gatsby teased.  
I blushed “The Great Gatsby.”

I was getting ready for Gatsby’s  
party when I got the call.  
“Hello, Nick. What are you doing tonight?” Chester’s voice rang through the phone.  
“Hi, Chester. I’m going to Gatsby’s party.... do you want to go?” I asked. For a second I felt rude inviting Chester without asking Gatsby, but then I giggled at that thought.  
“Sounds delightful. When is it?” he asked.  
I looked at my watch “In an hour or so.”  
“Alright, I’ll be there or be queer” he joked.  
I laughed “That is not the expression!”  
Chester giggled “Are you sure?”  
I sighed happily “You’re a hoot.”

When I arrived at Gatsby’s, he was lurking around the door, almost like he was waiting for someone. When he saw me, his face lit up and gave me a quick hug.  
“I’m a little nervous to see my father again. Thank you for coming with me, old sport” he beamed.  
“Of course. Anything for you” I replied.  
He flashed me his biggest smile at me “You’re the best.”  
“You should... go mingle with the guests” he suggested.  
“I would rather stay here with you” I stated.  
“I’ll catch up with you later, I have some business to attend to” he said almost nervously.  
“What’s wrong?” I asked.  
“Nothing I just—“ he started.  
That’s when my dear cousin, Daisy, entered. She said something about Tom being ‘out of town’. I didn’t buy it.  
“Is this why you’re so nervous? Seeing Daisy again? Is this why you’re trying to get rid of me?” I hissed.  
“It’s not what you’re thinking” he reassured me.  
“It’s exactly what I’m thinking” I sadly sighed.  
Before Gatsby could deny it, Chester was walking through the door, surprisingly without his glasses, with a friendly smile plastered on his face.  
“I’m here, but I’m still queer” Chester whispered, making me laugh out surprisingly. Gatsby’s face contorted unpleasantly, and walked over to Daisy. I frowned. What was that about?  
“Man, I cannot see anything without my glasses” Chester whined.  
I laughed “Are you not wearing contacts?”  
“No, Nick, not everyone can afford the luxuries you can” Chester joked.  
“Have you seen my house?” I retorted.  
Chester snorted “Yes, point taken, it’s quite the eyesore.”  
I laughed, but then out of the corner of my eye I saw Gatsby and Daisy talking and sighed.  
“Nick, you look so sad, I wish I had my camera so I could capture this melancholy vibe you have going on” Chester commented.  
“How would you know? You can’t see anything” I retorted.  
Chester snorted “That’s low.”  
I smiled “Thanks for being by my side tonight.”  
Chester smiled back “It was my pleasure, my friend.”

As time ticked by, I found myself wishing Jordan were there. She would either sulk with me or tear Daisy away from Gatsby. I would’ve appreciated either.  
Chester was sitting next to me, buzzed and giggling “I could throw a better party than this.”  
I laughed “I’m sure you could.”  
“No, I’m serious, ask Myrtle!” Chester exclaimed.  
“Oh, I believe you. You know a lot of men who would make your parties my kind of thing” I joked, making Chester laugh.  
“I’m going to go find Gatsby, want to come?” I asked.  
Chester shrugged “Sure.”  
Gatsby’s parties were so crowded trying to walk through the many people was difficult and made it hard to find anyone.  
When I spotted Gatsby, everyone was counting down the time before the new year. Wonderful. 3–I push my way through the crowd.2–I see Gatsby’s beautiful golden hair.1–I see Gatsby and Daisy. Kissing.0–I yell Gatsby’s name, and then pull Chester into a kiss.  
Thank god everyone else were too caught up in their own kisses to see the stupid thing I’d just done—except Gatsby and Daisy—when I pulled away from Chester, Gatsby was staring daggers our way. I took a deep breath, and turned to face Chester again.  
“I’m so sorry I did that” I apologized.  
Chester shrugged “I would never object to a handsome man kissing me.”  
I laughed, thankful he wasn’t mad, and even made me feel better. I still felt bad though.  
I walked away to go inside Gatsby’s house to get my suitcase, which I’d brought over to Gatsby’s much earlier for convenience.  
I was pulling my suitcase out of Gatsby’s house when I saw the man himself frantically looking around. When he saw me, his eyes lit up.  
“Hello, old sport” he said almost nervously.  
I immediately softened up “Are you ready to go?”  
“You—You’re still coming along?” he asked.  
“Just because I’m feeling angry and confused doesn’t mean I’m going to abandon you to deal with your father on your own” I explained.  
He opened him mouth to say something, but then snapped it shut like a trout. Without another word, I turned away and walked towards his car.  
A few minutes later Gatsby met me at his car. With 5 suitcases.  
“5 suitcases? Are you packing for a few days or for a few weeks?” I questioned.  
“I’m a human being, I have needs, Nicholas” he answered.  
I flinched at my name. He’d never called me that ever before. Instead of saying anything in return, I silently got into Gatsby’s car.

It took 30 minutes of driving before we broke the silence.  
“Why was she even there?” I asked.  
Gatsby tried to hide that he slightly jumped as my sudden forwardness.  
“Hhm?” he hummed.  
“You know what I’m talking about, Jay” I scoffed.  
“Calling me Jay now?” he teased.  
“Don’t try to change the subject!” I hissed.  
“Alright” he sighed.  
“You said you didn’t have feelings for her anymore! You lied to me!” I exclaimed. Maybe I was being too harsh.  
“No, I said that I still had lingering feelings for her! I think I always will!” he snapped.  
I choked down my argument after hearing the rest of that sentence and just sat in disappointing silence. I couldn’t speak anymore, how could I after something like that?  
Gatsby sighed “That’s not necessarily true. My feelings for her are complicated...she was the only person to ever be interested in me...and probably the last person who ever will be interested in me...I think that’s part of the reason I built her up to be something more than she was.”  
“Gatsby you are amazing! Anyone would be lucky to be with you” I reassured.  
Gatsby smiled sweetly at me, before his face contorted into a more serious expression.  
“Also, I didn’t invite Daisy over because of any feelings I have for her, I invited her over to apologize” he added.  
“Apologize for what?” I scoffed.  
“Treating her like an object...putting her up on such a high pedestal that she couldn’t possibly ever live up...expecting far too much from her...a lot of things” he explained.  
“Hm, I guess I never thought of it that way...” I trailed off.  
“I never planned on kissing her, she kissed me... I didn’t stop her though” he admitted. I understandably nodded. I felt much better.  
After a moment, Gatsby spoke again “So, old sport, you told me you weren’t interested in Chester...”  
I was stuck wondering how I could possibly explain why I kissed Chester without confessing my feelings for him.  
“I felt jealous....I mean that everyone had someone to kiss but me” I responded. It wasn’t completely untrue.  
Gatsby scrunched his eyebrows together “Are you sure that’s the only reason?”  
I nodded “Yes... I have no romantic feelings for Chester... I feel bad for kissing him like that, in public nonetheless.”

  
When we finally arrived at Gatsby’s father’s, it was late, very late.  
Gatsby suddenly got really giggly “Okay, my father is probably sleeping so we have to be quiet.”  
His giggling made me start to giggle “Okay...shh!”  
When we entered, while trying not to giggle, Mr. Gatz was sitting in the kitchen reading a newspaper. It reminded me of my own father.  
“Welcome home, Jimmy!” he exclaimed.  
Gatsby’s big bright smile appeared on his face before pulling his father into a hug.  
“Father, this is my friend, Nick Carraway” he introduced me.  
“Nice to meet you” I said as I shook his hand.  
Mr. Gatz nodded politely.  
“What are you doing awake so late for anyway?” Gatsby asked.  
“You’re late, I was worried” Mr Gatz explained.  
I smiled. I wished my father was that way.  
“I apologize for my small house.” Mr Gatz said.  
“Nick’s house is smaller then this” Gatsby noted.  
I laughed “It’s true.”  
“So you boys are going to have to share a room” Mr. Gatz informed us, pointing at the said room. I started taking our stuff to the room while Gatsby caught up with his father. Then, I stood in the doorway, watching Gatsby catch up with his father. I guess he didn’t need me to come along after all. I went to go get the last suitcase when I saw it. I hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but it was hard to miss.  
“I am so proud to have you as a son, Jimmy. I hope you know I accept you” I heard Mr. Gatz say. Gatsby’s eyes were watering. I’d never seen him cry, nor even be near it. What did that mean anyway? Did Gatsby come out? I shrugged to myself and took the suitcase to the room.  
About an hour later, Gatsby quietly snuck into the room, as if not to wake me. I’d tried to sleep, but I couldn’t.  
“Hi Gatsby” I greeted.  
Gatsby jumped “You scared me, old sport!”  
I giggled “Sorry.”  
Gatsby laid down next to me.  
“Can’t sleep?” he asked.  
“When can I ever?” I joked.  
We laid in silence for a few minutes before Gatsby spoke up again.  
“This year will be better for you...for me...for us” he promised.  
I smiled. I didn’t believe it. But I didn’t want to crush his hope so I said nothing. That’s when it happened. The very thing I’d wanted since I met Gatsby. He cupped my cheek and kissed me. It wasn’t anything other than a peck, but it being from him, made it better than any kiss I’d ever had.  
When he pulled away, I was speechless for a minute.  
Then, I spoke “Um that was... what was that?”  
Gatsby laughed “Go to sleep, Nick.”  
I mirrored his laugh “Alright.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry the ending is so sappy but I’m a slut for that kinda thing.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah yes I am back, with another terrible chapter in pining hell. Also if you watch it’s always sunny in philadelphia, you will see I stole a plot point from charlie and dee find love :)

Any confidence I had that Gatsby and I could possibly have a relationship was gone. Looking out my window, I saw Gatsby and Daisy laughing together. I sighed and shut my blinds.  
As I was brushing my teeth, I remembered that I’d kissed Chester the night before.  
I looked into the mirror and rolled my eyes at myself “Imbecile.” I scoffed. I decided then that I’d get dressed and go properly apologize to Chester. It was also an excuse to get out of the house and diminish the chances of Gatsby giving me the “its not you, it’s me” speech.

When I arrived at Chester’s apartment, I was greeted by Chester’s wife, Lucille McKee.  
“Hello Nick!” she exclaimed. I held back a laugh at how she remembered me right away and her husband hadn’t remembered me at all, despite sleeping with me.  
“Hello, Mrs. Mckee” I said politely before asking for Chester.  
“May I speak to Chester please?” I asked.  
She yelled for Chester. A moment later he appeared at the door in a vest and a bow tie with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.  
“Nick, what brings you here?” he greeted.  
“Could we go on a walk or something?” I asked.  
Chester nodded as he slammed the door, earning a yell from Lucille, scolding him about the door slamming.  
“What’s wrong? You haven’t been to my apartment since we first hooked up” he noted.  
“Well, I wanted to apologize for New Years. No matter what pain I was feeling because of Gatsby, no matter how much I wanted to make him jealous, I had no right to kiss you, in public, without your permission. I’m sorry” I apologized.  
Chester offered to share his cigarette with me. Usually, I’d be inclined to refuse smoking, but feeling stressed about Chester forgiving me and the rejection I’d later receive from Gatsby, I accepted.  
Chester handed me the cigarette “I told you it was okay. I meant that, alright? Don’t worry about it.”

Desperately wanting to avoid going back home and risking the chance of seeing Gatsby, I decided to call Jordan and ask if she wanted to get together today.  
“You are a terrible driver. I told you I should’ve driven” I whined.  
Jordan had picked me up and we were driving to lunch together when she rear ended a car.  
She and I stepped out of the car, and so did the people in the other car.  
“So sorry, that was completely my fault” The woman said. That was entirely untrue and it was obvious the woman was just being polite. Despite this being obvious, Jordan agreed it was her fault.  
“Yeah, it's goddamn your fault, I.... Oh look at you... my god” Jordan fumed, before gaping at the beauty of the woman across from her. Said woman had orange shoulder length hair and a smile so sweet I’m sure it gave Jordan a toothache.  
The woman blushed “I’m Jane, this is my brother Peter.”  
Peter had fluffy orange hair, glasses, and a smile as sweet as his sisters that it gave me said toothache.  
“Hi” Peter said, grinning bigger, if that was even possible.  
“Hi” I said, flashing a smile back.  
“Hi” Jane directed towards Jordan.  
“Hi” Jordan smiled seductively.

Then I was at Jordan’s house, with her resting on the couch watching me nervously pace around. This seemed to be a reoccurring thing between us. One of us would freak out and the other one of us would try to calm down the one freaking out. Sometimes when one of us freaked out, it weirdly calmed the other one of us down.  
Currently, it was me doing the freaking out bit.  
“We can’t just go on a double date with them! Surely I won’t be able to hesitate drinking... you know how I get when that happens....and what if they think we’re heterosexual? I mean they invited us to dinner but they didn’t clarify which one of us which one of them are interested in!” I exclaimed all while anxiously pacing around, looking for anything to do to get my mind off of this.  
“Nick darling, don’t worry! I have my flaws too, I’m quite brash, and you have a bit of a drinking problem. It’s okay! All we have to do is keep you away from alcohol and I have to bite my tongue!” Jordan reassured, getting off the couch to stop my pacing.  
“What if they’re heterosexual and the girl— what’s her name, Jessica? Jade?— likes me?” I whined anxiously.  
“First of all her name is Jane” Jordan corrected.  
“Second of all, if that happens, we’ll be polite, finish our meals, thank them, and then never see them again” Jordan reassured.  
I nodded “You’re so quick witted, what would I do without you?”  
Jordan giggled “Drown in your own anxiety.”  
I giggled too “That’s fair.”

Thankfully, the date was not in public, but in Jane’s apartment.  
“Your apartment is adorable!” Jordan exclaimed. Daisy had said the exact same thing in the exact same tone to me about my house. I knew what ‘adorable’ really meant.  
I elbowed Jordan, reminding her not to be so blunt.  
“It’s almost bigger than my house” I joked. Nobody laughed.  
“Would either of you care for some wine?” Peter asked.  
My mouth twitched. I bit my tongue to stop myself from saying yes.  
“I’d love some!” Jordan cooed.  
I gave her a dirty look and she smirked at me.  
“Nick here doesn’t drink” Jordan lied.  
“I do drink, I just tend to go overboard when I do and I’m trying to break that habit” I corrected her, and then realized how unappealing that made me sound.  
“That’s admirable, that you’re sober” Peter said, impressed, making me feel guilty that I really wasn’t sober.  
“Thank you” I mumbled guiltily.  
We ate, talked, laughed. As much fun as it was, I couldn’t keep my mind off of Gatsby. There was nothing wrong with Peter, he was a stand up guy, if I’d met him back in my time in Minnesota, before I’d met Gatsby, I’d be enamored. But this wasn’t before I’d met Gatsby, and I wasn’t that same naive Minnesotan boy. Despite this, I worked up the courage to ask Peter back to my place, whether it was because I was lonely or if only to show Gatsby I was over him, I wasn’t sure.

Back at my place, I was laying on my couch, Peter straddling me, with our lips intertwined. Before we could get very far, there was knock on my door.  
Feeling much too aroused and comfortable, I asked Peter to get the door. Then when I heard Gatsby’s voice float into my house, I jumped off the couch and to the door with anxious urgency.  
When I got to the door, I saw Gatsby with bags under his eyes, looking irritated, and weirdly holding one hand behind his back, like he was hiding something.  
“Hello, Nick. Who’s this?” Gatsby asked.  
Wanting to show Gatsby that I understood he didn’t have feelings for me and that I didn’t have any feelings for him either, I turned and whispered to Peter that Gatsby knew I was queer and was okay with it, and asked if I could tell him, to which Peter nodded.  
“This is my date, Peter” I answered.  
“Oh. Nice to meet you” Gatsby said, his big smile was still plastered on his face, but his voice was strained.  
“Nice to meet you too” Peter said, shaking Gatsby’s hand.  
“I better get going so you guys can get back to your date. Goobye” Gatsby decided.  
After Gatsby turned around, I whispered for Peter to go in and that I’d be there in a few minutes.  
As soon as the sound of the door shutting was heard, Gatsby, unaware that I was still outside, threw something violently. I realized what he threw were flowers. More specifically, violets, my favorite kind of flowers. Did Gatsby really get me flowers? Did he really really return my feelings? My mouth twitched back and forth between a smile and a frown.  
Pathetically, I picked up the flowers and brought them inside, if I couldn’t have Gatsby now, I would have the flowers he meant to give me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi yes I adore peter and jane asher. and yes I know that they were not yet born in the 1920’s, but can we just pretend for the sake of this? kay thanx


	13. Chapter 13

It’d been days and days of calling Gatsby and stopping at his house before I saw him again, and it wasn’t because he finally decided to speak to me again, but because he was throwing a party and there was no way he could keep me away during that.  
It was sad, really. Ever since he’d sent me the first invitation to his party and we’d become friends, he continued sending me invitations to each of his parties, even though it was obvious I was invited to everyone from then on, it was just something we did. But this time, no invitation came. It was upsetting. That was our thing. But I wasn’t going to let that keep me away.  
Once I arrived at the party, it dawned on me that I had no idea what I would even say to Gatsby. I’d been so busy trying to get him to just speak to me that I hadn’t thought that far.  
I waltzed into Gatsby’s on a mission to find the man himself. This whole situation made me so anxious I could practically hear the alcohol calling my name. I was there for an important reason and I knew I had to keep my head straight, but I also wanted to calm my nerves, so I promised myself I’d only have one drink and nothing more. But just as all my other promises to myself, I broke this one too.  
I was on my eighth drink and was wandering around looking for Gatsby, much more confidently this time.  
When I found him, he was pressed up against a wall while frantically kissing some woman. My heart ached. I knew I had no right to be jealous, I’d done the same to him, but my drunk clouded mind didn’t care. My feet dragged me over to them and my arms practically tore the woman off of him.   
“What the hell!” The woman exclaimed.  
“Nick?” Gatsby questioned.  
“Men” The woman scoffed as she turned to leave.  
“Nick, what are you doing?” Gatsby questioned.  
“You should show me some of your art” I slurred while putting my arms around Gatsby to steady myself.  
“You are drunk as a sailer” He laughed.  
“Mmm no” I laughed along.  
“Come on, I’ll bring you to my library” He responded, dragging me over to the door.  
“Oh! I am one lucky man!” I hollered.

Once we were in the library, I grabbed a random book off of the shelf and plopped down into a chair. I started flipping through the book, and immediately noticed that it was handwritten. Was this Gatsby’s diary? Trying to read it in my state was difficult. So I didn’t try, I knew I shouldn’t be reading it anyway.  
I tripped over to where Gatsby was sipping scotch and handed him the diary.   
“You” I hiccuped “Should probably put this in better spot.”  
Gatsby grabbed it and flipped through it “It’s just my war diary. But you’re right, I should put it somewhere safer. There are things in here I’d rather have people not know about me.”  
Gatsby’s eyes widened “You didn’t read any of this, did you?”  
I plopped down onto Gatsby’s lap “No, can’t really read anything right now.”  
Gatsby’s mouth kept twitching into a smile that he was fighting off.  
“What are you doing, old sport?” He finally managed to choke out.  
“I missed you” I confessed.  
He straightened his tie, avoiding eye contact with me “What about Peter?”  
I giggled “Who?”  
He scoffed “Your date from a few nights ago. The red head.”  
“Oh!” I exclaimed “Well he’s very beautiful!”  
“Uh okay” He mumbled, as he attempted to get up.  
“Wait, I wasn’t done, sorry I misled you. I meant, uhh” I trailed off.  
“Peter is nice, he’s attractive, he’s fine, but he’s not the great Gatsby” I continued, wrapping my arms around Gatsby’s neck and pulling him into a kiss.  
He started kissing back initially, but then pushed me away, making frown.  
“You are very drunk, old sport” He pointed out.   
I laughed “You already mentioned that.”  
Gatsby picked me up off his lap and then stood up himself.  
“You should go to bed” He suggested.  
“No, I don’t want to!” I whined.  
“You won’t remember this in the morning” He stated.  
I scoffed “Course I will.”  
He laughed “Sure.”  
“I’ll be your best friend if you let me stay up” I promised.  
“Good thing we’re already best friends” He answered.  
“Damn it” I groaned.  
Gatsby grabbed my hand and dragged me up to his room.  
His bed had gold silk sheets and a velvet comforter on it. It was also the comfiest bed I’d ever laid on.  
Gatsby turned to leave me to sleep, but I stopped him.  
“Hey, come lay down with me” I requested.  
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea, maybe another time” He said.  
“That’s not fair!” I whined.  
“Sorry, old sport” He said softly as he turned the lights off and left the room.   
I inhaled Gatsby’s scent on the bed. It calmed me and helped me fall asleep.


	14. Chapter 14

I woke up with my head pounding. It was so bright, I didn’t want to open my eyes. I tried to remember the events of last night. I went to Gatsby’s party, drank some champagne and...That’s all I could remember. That’s when I realized the bed I was in was much to comfortable to be mine. I managed to open my eyes to see that I was in Gatsby’s bed. So where was the man himself? I quickly stretched and then went to go look for him.   
I walked out of his room and looked around upstairs. When I didn’t find him, I walked out onto the balcony, and found him there.  
“Good afternoon, old sport” He greeted  
I groaned “Did I really sleep that long?”  
“Yes, but it’s only Saturday, you don’t have to work, do you?” He asked, sounding almost worried about me missing work.  
I shook my head “No, no, don’t worry.”  
“Good” He said, letting out a worried breath.   
“So I was wondering if you uh... had plans tonight?” I asked shyly.  
“No, why?” He questioned.  
“I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date with me tonight” I finally asked, after all this time of wanting to.   
Gatsby’s mouth broke into a smile “I’d love that.”  
“Okay, great. How about at eight?” I suggested.   
“Sounds perfect” He agreed.

I went home and excitedly called Jordan.  
“Guess what!” I exclaimed once the phone was answered.  
“What dear?” Jordan wondered.  
“Guess who has a date with Gatsby!” I roared.  
“Nick! You dog!” Jordan cheered.  
“Can you come over? I need help finding something to wear.” I asked.  
“Sure, be there soon, love!” She yelled.   
I hung up and nervously walked back and forth from the couch to the door. I had a terrible feeling I was going to embarrass myself in front of Gatsby. What if I said something idiotic?  
When Jordan arrived, she pushed past me and walked to my closet.  
“I’m so happy for you” She cheered.  
“I’m nervous. Who thought this would ever happen?” I said unbelievably.   
“Me!” She exclaimed.  
“Okay, pick out an outfit for me, I’m going to go find my flask” I decided.  
“Wait, why do you need your flask?” Jordan asked.  
“This is my first date with Gatsby, I’m gonna be a nervous wreck” I explained.  
“Nick, you are worse drunk than you are nervous. Under no circumstances can you bring that flask on your date!” Jordan forbid.   
“Under every circumstance I have to bring my flask on my date!” I shot back.  
“Do you want to be a drunken mess on your first date with the love of your life?” Jordan asked.  
“I won’t get drunk! Just a little buzzed!” I promised.  
“You are an alcoholic” Jordan said bluntly.  
“You are mean!” I lamely fired back.  
Jordan scoffed “Do what you want. But don’t come crying to me when you embarrass yourself.”  
Before I even answered, Jordan was shoving an outfit into my hands.  
“Wear this!” She demanded.  
She handed me a white long sleeved shirt with a black vest over it with a black bow tie and black pants.  
“Not too classy, not too casual!” She exclaimed like it was the only plausible choice.  
I then grabbed my flask and filled it up and slipped it into my pocket before heading out.

  
When I walked out of my house for my date with Gatsby it was 7:30. And I could tell he was planning on throwing a party. I became confused. Was the party supposed to be our date?  
When I knocked on the door, it was answered almost immediately by Gatsby himself.   
“Hello, old sport” He greeted.  
“Hi, Gatsby” I smiled.  
“Uh so is the party our date?” I went on to ask.  
“Oh, no! Of course not, I’m not that terrible of a date. I thought we could see a film?” Gatsby suggested.   
“Sounds great. But why are you throwing a party then?” I asked.  
“Well, you see old sport... I was feeling kind of scared about our date so I thought, why not throw a party?” He explained.  
I laughed “Really? I just paced around my living room.”  
“That sounds like the more rational choice” He laughed in response.  
When we got into his car to drive to see a movie, I became even more nervous. Gatsby sped all the way there and I knew he was a terrible driver already but it was much worse when I was already uneasy.  
“Why do you have to speed?” I asked.  
“Oh, sorry, would you like to drive instead?” He shot back.  
“Never mind, continue” I said defeatedly.

When we arrived at a movie theater, I let Gatsby decide what movie to watch.  
“You really don’t care what we see?” He questioned.  
I smiled “No, whatever makes you happy.”  
“You really know how to flatter a man” He winked.  
I felt myself blush “Thanks.”  
Gatsby insisted on paying for both our tickets. I knew he could afford it more than I could, but that still didn’t stop me from objecting.   
“You don’t have to pay for me” I noted.  
“I’m not sure if you’ve noticed this about me or not, but I like to spoil people I’m courting” Gatsby explained.  
“Fine, but next time I pay” I ensured.  
“There’s going to be a next time” He stated with a small smile.  
“If that’s okay with you, sir” I flirted.  
“Whatever you want” He answered.

When the movie started and the lights went out, I started to get nervous again. Should I discreetly hold his hand? Or would that cross the line in public? Anxiously, I pulled out my flask and chugged it all. Jordan was right. I am going to make a drunken fool of myself in front of Gatsby. I think Gatsby could tell I was silently freaking out because he reached over and grabbed my hand. I blushed happily. Why was I so worried? Everything was going to be fine.

When we arrived home after the movie, I was buzzed.  
“Jay! Let’s go swimming!” I exclaimed.   
Gatsby seemed more nervous now than he had he entire night.   
“Uh it’s broken” He said.  
“Broken?” I questioned.  
“Yes?” He answered as a question.  
I shrugged. Probably a rich people problem I couldn’t understand.   
“Sorry about your pool problems” I said awkwardly.  
Gatsby laughed “Thanks, Nick.”  
I kissed him on the cheek.  
“Goodnight, Gatsby” I said happily.  
“Goodnight, Nick” He sighed in content as we went out seperate ways for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I can’t write dates so it seemed short af. Also lots of love to those who understand the broken pool joke part


	15. Chapter 15

“I thought your pool was broken?”  
I’d walked outside my house to see Gatsby swimming in a black tank top and black shorts. How odd. The man was so loaded he could afford more swimsuits than any human could ever need.  
“And I thought you’d be at work” He shot back. But he had an edge to his voice. Like he was caught off guard doing something private.  
“Daisy asked to see me today, so I’m going over there, but later do you want to have dinner?” I asked.  
“Could I come with you to Daisy’s, old sport?” He asked.  
“Uh sure, I guess” I answered.  
Gatsby jumped out of the pool.  
“I’ll go get dressed.”

When we got to Daisy’s, Tom opened the door.  
“Hello, Nick. And you.”  
“Nice to see you too” Gatsby said sarcastically.  
Tom moved to let us in before any argument ensued.  
“Nicky!” Daisy exclaimed when she saw me. Then she pulled me into a hug.  
“Hello, Jay!” She said happily.  
Gatsby turned to me quickly and started whispering to me.  
“Daisy is accepting to homosexuals. Can I tell her about our date?” He asked.  
“Uh sure” I answered, unsure how he knew she was accepting.  
“I have so much to tell you!” He exclaimed, grabbing Daisy’s hand and dragging her to another room while she giggled. My stomach knotted up. My eye twitched. But I had to trust Gatsby. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. I hoped.

When I got bored waiting, I went into the room where Gatsby and Daisy had went to check on them.  
“I accepted you before, and I accept you now, Jay-Jay” I heard Daisy say when I entered.  
“I know, and that’s why I trust you so much” Gatsby cooed.  
I felt my stomach twinge in jealously again. What had Daisy meant by accepting Gatsby before? Had she known he was attracted to men before?  
“Oh, hello, old sport” Gatsby greeted when he realized I was there.  
“Nicky! I never thought you’d ever admit to who you are I’m so proud!” She cheered, surprising me. She’d known about me?  
“Yeah, well” I uttered out, unsure of what to say.  
Daisy pulled me into a hug and then let me go and pulled Gatsby into a hug. That’s when Tom walked in.  
“Hey, that’s my wife you dirty bootlegger!” Tom exclaimed.  
“Tom, they’re just hugging” I annoyingly explained. I was jealous too, but at least I wasn’t a jerk about it.  
“Daisy! You dirty whore!” Tom approached with his hand ready to slap her. I quickly stood in front of my poor cousin in order to block the slap.  
“Keep your hands off of her!” I exclaimed. I surprised myself a bit. I was never the brave type. Gatsby looked proud.  
All of a sudden, I got the courage and shoved Tom out of the room and locked the door.  
“Daisy...I think you need to move out” I suggested.  
“I couldn’t. I’m okay! He was just jealous!” Daisy defended him.  
“I was jealous too. But I wasn’t abusive because of it” I explained.  
“Move in with me” Gatsby suggested.  
“I couldn’t possibly intrude” Daisy objected.  
“Then I’ll call up Jordan and ask her if you can stay” I pitched.  
“I couldn’t intrude on her either!” Daisy pouted.  
“She’s your best friend, she’ll be happy to have you” I explained.  
I picked up the phone in the room and dialed Jordan’s number.  
“Hello, Daisy, my dear!” Jordan greeted when she answered the phone.  
“It’s Nick” I clarified.  
“What do you want?” Jordan sighed.  
“Rude” I scoffed.  
“Anyway” Jordan continued.  
I explained what had happened to Jordan and asked if Daisy and Pammy could stay there.  
“Well, yes, of course. May I ask why is she only now taking up this offer from me? This has been going on for awhile, why now has she decided to do something about it?” Jordan asked.  
“It has?” I asked incredulously.  
“She didn’t tell you” Jordan stated.  
Instead of asking any questions or delving in any farther into that conversation, I just told her that we’d get some of Daisy’s things together and be over soon and then hung up.  
“Daisy, get some of your and Pammy’s things together, Jordan said you could stay” I said.  
Daisy nodded and turned to her closet and started taking her things out.  
“I’m really proud of you” Gatsby whispered to me.  
I blushed “It was nothing.”  
“No, it was. You helped someone you don’t like get out of a bad situation. That’s really admirable” He complimented.  
“Thank you” I replied.  
When we left the house, Tom was hollering at us with a scotch in his hand while Pammy cried from the loud noise. I felt quite bad for both Daisy and Pammy.  
“It’s okay, baby. We’re going to see Aunt Jordan, isn’t that great?” Daisy cooed to calm Pammy.  
Pammy hiccuped but smiled through her tears.  
My heart grew in respect for my cousin that I never thought it could.

We arrived at Jordan’s to see her outside her house awaiting us. Daisy ran out of the car and straight into Jordan’s arms and sobbed into her shoulder.  
“There, there. You are so brave for leaving, dear” Jordan comforted, running her hand on her back in reassurance. It made me smile.  
I held Pammy while Gatsby took in Daisys things. She seemed to be almost all the way calm again.  
When Jordan and Daisy pulled away from their hug, Jordan came up to me and grabbed Pammy out my arms.  
“Thank you for calling me” She whispered.  
“You were my only hope” I admitted.  
“Thank you for convincing her to leave Tom, your opinion carries a lot of weight in her decisions, you know” Jordan told me.  
“I’m glad that I could get her out of there” I agreed.  
After we’d gotten all of Daisy’s stuff inside and said our goodbyes, we drove home. I felt like I’d done something good, something right. For once in my life I’d done an important, selfless thing, that had helped another person. I’d finally felt good about myself for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so bad :/ also I love daisy so she gets to be happy and get away from a racist abusive shithead cause no one deserves that. Also daisy “knowing” nick is gay was more about her being accepting than her actually ever knowing the truth...


End file.
